One thing seems right Lord. Being here. I know I’m where I’m meant to be now. You’ve laid everything ahead of me and cleared the way so a steady path remains ahead.
I wait for him, I love him. If it is your will, lead me closer to him and let me know him better. Lead us closer and anoint our relationship. I only want to go where you have blessed me to go. I live for you after all, not myself, help me remember that. Countless times I wanted to give up but you never neglected me, you held me through it all. I won’t let go, if you let me hold on.
Lord, I’m afraid. Afraid to talk, afraid of rejection, afraid of the worst. I’m afraid he won’t like me- did he see anything in me? What are all these insecurities that crowd and overtake my mind Lord. Is it always meant to be like this? To the point that I’m too afraid to approach him?
But if I’m insane please tell me Lord. If it’s not right, please stop me in my tracks. Wake me up and help me realise. I don’t know why Lord, but something tells me this isn’t the case. Yes, he doesn’t know me properly yet but he doesn’t hate or despise me at least I know this. You can make the impossible work, and if it pleases you then let it be your way.
Thank you Lord for protecting me, protecting me physically from the storm, from abuse, from all the things in this world that are dark. Thank you for taking me out of darkness and bringing me to light so I need not be ashamed any longer.
You make me beautiful, you spread a smile upon my face infectiously, you draw life into my bones. I am free at last in your hands, free from my sin, free from all the darkness. And even when I lose my step you reach out to me and wait for me to grab a hold. Thank you Lord. Thank you for your great love, the greatest example to live by.
Lord, I wish everyone around me would know you. Let them taste your love if it be your will. Let all my relationships with people reflect your great love, because you are the one who knit each of these individual people in the womb. O God, I can’t wait for that day we are united, completely and so tangibly. O God, please help me be patient and use each day to its most.
Let me be that love Lord. Like yours. Like that hand that was held out to me and just appreciated me for being. Without a worry in the world. Without a hint of hesitation or doubt, just fully believing in the best of me. I won’t forget her so help me not forget your endless great love too.
Help me not be complacent. Help me be diligent and hold myself in the greatest amount of integrity, despite those mistakes I made yesterday and the day before. O God, help me be better, by your strength day-by-day. Help me remember that cup and that bread you fed me when I was so hungry. Thank you for feeding me, and keep feeding me. The eternal water welling up the springs of life. Thank you that you have always given us enough to face each day. Help us as we encounter difficulties and challenges in this life.
Let us not be so quick to label things as a demon or blame. Let us remember that you are here, your holy presence is in each one of us who believe. Help us remember you are good and great. Let us not gravitate to the darkness, the negativity, that’s not where your energy lays, why should we focus on that?
Lord, I just want to hug her before it’s too late. To comfort her from all the worries of this world. To reassure her she’s enough without all that. Lord, I just want to be there for her sometimes, but I can’t. So Lord, please be with her. Help her climb these mountains, that seem nearly impossible to survive past. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her but you do Lord. You designed it all and you let free will and failure exist, I don’t understand but I trust in your great plan. Life, death, all of it is in your hands. Please I pray more than anything that you won’t let us to try take these in our own hands but to let us give it all up to you because at the end of the day being close to you is the most important thing not being the best or taking control of what life has to offer and making the decision ourselves.
I’m sorry if you don’t see it reader, I don’t even know if what I write gets read, but all I know is God has his own way, one that I don’t and can’t fully comprehend at this moment, but it is good. So don’t give up, keep seeking the truth, keep loving, keep building his kingdom here on earth. May your hearts be united, and may we, your bride as the church meet its purpose to declare your name from the ends of the earth. Thank you that you are so good Lord to give each one of us a chance to know you. I pray that hearts may be softened and ears may be open to hearing, and that we may taste the joy of being with you in eternity.
Love through to eternity.
Amen.